Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Day to Remember: December 19, 2010

This post will be similar in structure to this one from many months ago. I plan on making these a bit more uniform in title, as well. I envision reading these long from now and perhaps being glad to have recorded them. I guess we'll see.

I suppose I could technically start the "day" at midnight when I was playing Magic with some CA friends in Vent. I don't think I won a single time, but it was enjoyable to test wits and pseudo-randomness and a great way to wind down after an intense and unsuccessful finals week. Plus, I was a little tired of high-strung action with the new TF2 update.

...Wait. That was Saturday morning/Friday night. Still, that's an important contrast to make that'll carry over into Sunday. Let's try this again.

From midnight until 2AM I am trying to piece together my extremely late M2G2 article. I both completely forgot and was too tired to complete it in time the previous night, which still, of course, leaves me culpable, but that's beside the point. It's another round of "Success", meaning the articles in which I tally what songs that I suggested were actually put into games. Turns out a substantial amount. I go to bed pretty soon, though, because I know I need to be up early for the rest of the day's events.

Wake up at 8AM. Get up at 8:20AM, the lazy bastard I am. Get ready to leave and start driving home a bit after 9AM. Make it home for just a bit before setting off to Kennesaw Mountain for my brother's Eagle Scout project. We get there earlier than anyone to meet the guy who coordinates these things and knows what's going on. It's cold, but we all sign some paperwork and step inside for a bit to wait for others.

My brother, the head guy, and I talk about various topics in the warmth of the indoors until people start showing up. Several more than originally anticipated! We gather tools, give an introduction to what's happening, and set off. The drive is about halfway up, followed by a 25-minute hike to the trail spot we're fixing up. I'm lugging along two rock bars with the help of one of Rhett's friends, and I relish the fact that I haven' t been hiking in years. It's cold, but getting warmer.

We reach the spot, and my brother starts taking charge a bit, picking out groups to do these different tasks. We start working to move a huge rock down from the hill above, slowly letting it slide without tumbling out of control. We drag it along to where we want it and position it properly. Now, those few sentences were about an hour and a half with all the precautions and hikers passing through.

Much of the rest of the work day, from about 10-3, was the same: trying to move a couple huge rocks out of the way of where the new path is supposed to be. Other groups are smoothing out the dirt, and it's really starting to take form! We're all pushing and shoving these huge rocks, inch by inch, over these hours, digging dirt out of the way and figuring out the best way to operate.

That's about all there is to say about rock-moving, other than that Subway sandwiches and water taste exponentially better when you really, really need it. After digging away at dirt and pulling rocks, water tastes great. The day ends with us accomplishing more than the head guy expected, though we'll have to come back another day as planned. I think I'll be there again, too.

We pack up and hike back half an hour. For some reason, this was by far the most difficult part of the day, and we all felt it. Lugging heavy equipment back a long distance really took its toll on every one of us, but it was nice to be on the same page about everything. Also, for being afraid of how cold it was, the weather was awesome once we were out there and moving. Absolutely nothing to complain about there. So we head home, and soon after I'm chilling downstairs, feeling good about accomplishing manual labor. In a few hours I'll be getting food and going to see Tron with a friend. Those hours pass without me finishing my article, though.

We drive to get Mexican food, and it's just fine. Then we drive far away to a move theater that's not "under construction". Fine by me; I like driving. At the theater, in the parking lot, you could hear what I later found out was the intercom from Home Depot across the street. Apparently they have it blaring 24/7.

The movie is awesome, and Olivia Wilde is hot. Those two things are not completely unrelated. I really liked how the movie actually used some real command line stuff for the computing segments, instead of always those fake UIs that you see in all other movies. That's not to say I'm always bothered by it, but I do appreciate realism when I see it. Anyway, that's just one point I'd like to mention. The movie was, again, awesome otherwise.

Oh, and Daft Punk. Can't forget Daft Punk being in there.

So we leave, and this is where I ask the ticket girl what those loud noises across the street are. (At that point, it was a constantly-ringing telephone.) I drive my friend home and head back to campus myself.

Upon going inside, I meet my RA and one of her roommates. As I go into my apartment, one of my roommates is playing Rock Band. They notice, and conveniently make a 4-person group. Strangely enough, my normally aloof roommate is the first to point out the idea. So after a few minutes, they come in (bearing hot chocolate, no less!) and want to play. We do this for a few hours, and it is totally awesome.

It's not every day you get 100% Expert Vocals on "Carry On Wayward Son" and kick ass on "Ramblin' Man".

I wish this kind of thing happened every weekend. I relish the times freshman year where a bunch of us we gather in one room and play SSBM for hours into the morning, watch Cowboy Bebop in its entirety in two nights, or... beat Super Mario Sunshine. I dunno. It was great.

But that's the extent of that long, eventful day. I'd just really like to remember it.

Edit: Despite what the posting time says, I started this on the 21st, but finished it before leaving for the GT bowl game on the 26th.

Monday, December 20, 2010

On Satire

I wrote this during finals week but didn't want to post it during that time. I shouldn't have wasted some of it writing, anyway, but I'm a little glad I put this down on paper. It's an interesting comparison, I think, and one just about anyone could chuckle at.

---

The new War on Christmas is upon us.

Our country is under attack. Americans, we must unite in our common beliefs and repel this menace. Long ago, we suffered under the tyranny of an oppressive minority. We fought those who sought to control us and have since become what might be called "dormant allies." Until now. What was once a battle of steel is now a war of hearts and minds, and acting resolutely is the only recourse.

This group has cropped up again: drama queens rampant with indignation and self-importance. Year after year they redouble their efforts. They wish to overtake society at large by starting small, from the pitch to this new war. This nation was founded on a set of ideals: ideals that set us apart from our enemies then and lead us to be the prosperous land we are now. What are these ideals? Freedom. Charity. Diction. Equality. These are the core elements that make us who we are and separate us from these chavs.

Even now the enemy's influence is spreading. I shall not hesitate to shine a glaring light at these recent infiltrations. Harry Potter himself is among their ranks, and despite adoration towards him, you know it is against your upbringing. The television character House is one of them, relatively undercover. Ozzy Osbourne, icon of satanic metal, permeates our airwaves. Christopher Hitchens, the fool, has gone so far as to become a citizen of these fair lands. Open your eyes. They are all around, spreading their rubbish.

So please: Americans all across this world, let us be united in our cheerfulness and boldness this holiday. Do not shudder away from saying the phrase the gives reason for the season. Do not be mired by political, social, or adjectival correctness. Do not cave in to dangerous foreign influences. Let not one utterance of that blasphemous expression be heard in our streets, stores, or homes. Let not one American be seen giving credence something so against our values that it dare not be spoken.

I shall not be wary to warn of the implications of accommodating on this issue. It may seem "natural" or "all-encompassing," but do not be fooled. The next year they will expect lifts in our buildings and boots in our cars. They will go on holiday for Boxing Day. Their ridiculousness knows no bounds.

This winter, be kind, but be vigilant. Turn away from a "Happy Christmas," lest we all be left to a bloody hell.

Merry Christmas, America

(And Happy Christmas, Brits)

Monday, December 6, 2010

On Zealots

This post is a reminder that I need to do a long write-up on anti-religious "zeal" and how infuriating it makes me that I am accused of such a thing.

What's even more angering is that I don't have the time right now to be angry. I have too much to do, too many pressing matters, to be preoccupied by frustration.

But FUCK, man. FUCK

Sunday, November 21, 2010

On Offices

This'll be brief, both because it's simple and that I need to stop procrastinating.

I watched an episode of The Office and House tonight, and I loved them both so much that I had to share...


This one is jam-packed with both humor, including classic pranks, and the precious, serious, commanding moments of Michael.


This one introduces a new character who might? become a regular. I don't really know. What I do know is that her qualms with ethics and lying are right up my ally, and it's like seeing two parts of me argue. It certainly helps that it's taking place on one of my favorite shows, too. I'm hoping to learn something from this.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Further on Space Cowboys

I have to really try to keep focus when writing M2G2. "The Pillows" article shows that the most, where I go from video games about music to music to anime and back around again. I often have to take a step back (while sitting?) and say, "This is on a video game website." Too often I start feeling like I'm writing a blog entry here.

(Strangely, though, the one where I strayed the most was the one that got the most attention of all.) Go Tech!

Still, with all that in mind, I made a tough decision to not include a second image in my post today. It was so close to making a cool connection, a great point, and an intriguing thought, but it just wasn't working.


So I thought I'd throw it up here. The real shame is just that, when you put it with SMB and the rest of the article, it just doesn't sit well. You can't look at Spike and listen to "Swingtown" without feeling strange. He epitomizes the song "Space Cowboy", for sure, but contrasts with the more lubby-dubby.


It would work if the focus was inverted, if it was about the show and its influences.

In essence, Steve Miller Band provides one layer of Spike's character, but certainly not all of it. And this makes sense when paired with the fact that every episode of Cowboy Bebop is a different band, genre, theme, feel. But, again, my column isn't about comparing and contrasting anime.

...Heh, and he didn't work, either.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Sunday, October 31, 2010

On NASCAR

A post I made on Reddit. I hope it gets some attention, because I think it's important.



With all the buzz from the rally, I have a question: does Jon Stewart the comedian conflict with Stewart the activist?

I've been having an argument with someone who's not a Jon Stewart fan or a fan of rally, about its purpose, significance, and political leaning. Beyond Yusuf and other things, one specific point that strikes true is Stewart's divided position in all this.

Stewart's statement at the end of the rally was heartfelt and a sentiment I feel many in the US share. Politics is divided, derisive, and distracting. Enough attack ads and hackery; stick to the important issues. Do it civilly. Do it for America, not for reelection.

But Stewart actively subverts this end with his show, to some extent. He made an excellent point in Crossfire[1] about the show's flaws, but so did the host critique The Daily Show. In essence, the argument was that important news shows on politics do not do their job of enlightening viewers to facts and politicians' positions on issues. The host countered with the same accusation towards The Daily Show. "Puppets making crank phone calls" and "comedy show" can't hold water forever, and especially not with increased activity on the activism front.

Stewart can't simultaneously pander to politicians on his show and "Fuck you"[2] everyone while keeping a straight face in that speech, can he? Even if it's comedy... Maybe the Obama interview was better, less pandery, though.[3]

I love this man, I really do, but there's a disconnect here. Is The Daily Show subverting John Stewart's pleas for political understanding?

Important links:

[1] Jon Stewart on Crossfire + Quotes from interview with John Kerry

Thursday, October 28, 2010

On Digital Legos

The Minecraft server in which I've poured hours and hours into may be getting wiped for updates, corruption, the works. It's got me a little depressed.

I mean, I knew this game was in Alpha, and I read that Notch said not to get attached to what you build. But I think I did.

Or, at least, I didn't have the extreme fragility of the world in my mind when playing. I assumed, given the massive infrastructure and buildings around me (the bank, roads, abundant resources, gigantic castles, tiki statue) that this was built to last. Since I came in and bought the game a bit later than others, I assumed this had gone on long enough to be assured it would remain intact. Or, at least, be informed before it all came crashing down.

But now it might all be wiped. There are positives to this, of course: I can explore the world myself this time, claim my land, help build up communal areas. That's great; that's fine. But I'll have to recollect resources, too. And rebuild anything I liked. And, at this point, have nothing to show for all my previous time.

What would make this all okay would to be able to get on once more and record my creations. If that can't happen, at least I can remember what I did...

  • Built a cozy wooden house on the shoreline
  • Built underground water channels
  • Created a farm outside my house
  • Created an underground resource and storage center
  • Built a large underground staircase with flowing water
  • Started an underwater lake, but didn't finish
  • Built a tree house; burnt it down
  • Built a path from spawn to my house, under my house, and past it
  • Built a cool structure out in the water that became the entrance to my mine
  • Built a large Chess board over the water, with piece designs and a high view point
Of course, I have to wonder what the guys who made massive pyramids and floating fortresses are feeling right now. I guess a lot of my time is in resources that didn't have much to show for themselves yet.

The biggest thing I hope for is that this isn't a regular occurrence. I hope my interest in pure creativity isn't hindered by instability.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

On Medicine

Going into any place of medicine puts me in my mental state of most unease. I despise it. So, so much.

It's a reminder of mortality, of the fragile, fragile state of our existence. That no matter the power of love, art, beauty, discovery, or will, if you get sick, you're sick. You can look at the receptionist all you want: she's feeling well today, and you're not. Such is the unfortunate state of the physical form.

It's not even the sterile environment. In this place, it's how nice and comfortable everything is. It's like the room is trying to distract you from the reality and potential severity of where you are and why you're there. However, I understand why. It's not like I can live dwelling on things like this. It's a necessity to provide pretty paintings, flowers, and nice patterned seats for people to...

A depressed me would say "cling to". Right now, I'll just say "enjoy".

Perhaps this stems from the fact that I almost never went to the doctor as I grew up. To get shots, sure, but the dentist was the only regular visit (and I still get a toy when I go, though I now have to say it's for my sister). It usually is, though. I don't need another bouncy ball.

I've never been inoculated against tragedy, you know. It's not like I'm asking for it, though. (Though, in the colloquial sense, I sure am...)

There's more to say, but I'm procrastinating as it is.

Monday, October 18, 2010

On Capricorn and the Future

1. It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Were you aware?

Now I'm all for promoting... I guess, awareness of important issues like this, including giving money for research into finding a cure and all that. I mean, who could possibly be against such a thing?

I just have a problem with the unfortunate state of other cancers. You're never going to see a Colon Cancer Awareness Month, or, if you actually do, it won't be nearly as popular. Brown ribbons just don't fly as well as pink. I guess I'm bothered that money and attention (Go Tech) is spent on issues with such frivolous impetus or meaning. Breasts are often objects of sexual desire. Great. Brain tumors and Leukemia are pretty bad, too.

But, shit man: tits!

I won't go into nor do I know the numbers on what's worse; that's not the point. It's just that focus shouldn't be swayed on something so irrelevant or silly.

Also, it irks me a bit that there's this sly, reserved sexual undertone to the whole thing. It's got women being coy in the name of "awareness", while everyone acknowledges how lovely breasts are in suggestive ways. It's cute, I guess, but do cut the crap eventually. I fear this just gives another reason for women to have repressed, withheld desires, or, rather, perpetuate the idea that they should. Because, if you do, you can use it as a means to an end, whether to get a free beer or a nice dinner. Lame.

2. This Cracked article hits pretty much every issue I'm concerned with in the future. I highly recommend it.

It's almost too much to hit in one post, and since I don't have a semblance of an answer (neither does he), I'll just let the link stand for itself. Someday I'll talk about that.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

~3000

Today had everything to do with everything besides what happened 9 years ago. It was a great day, an awesome day. The twin towers only occasionally crossed my mind.

And that's how it'll be for more and more people over time. It's not a bad thing; it's a natural one. But there's always a difference between moving on and forgetting.

At least I didn't hear of any burning books.

Monday, September 6, 2010

On Skateboarding


I guess this would be a good place for some clarification on what this video's about. First, I should establish that my internship over the summer was just fine. It was on the software side, so a little different from where I might be in the labor market after I graduate, but I learned a lot from my experience (including stuff I probably should have already known). Everyone was so exceedingly friendly, even though we had disagreements on issues at every lunch. I would take an engaging discussion of important issues over stupid smalltalk any day, though. Absolutely.

But sometimes, when I wasn't getting much done, time would tick slowly. I began to worry about wasting the company's time and making a bad impression. The worry made the cycle become a dredging series of movements. And you know, I really do fear the 8-5 lifestyle and commute. Working on something you enjoy with people you like to be around might be the best release.

On a more concrete note, should I worry about the fact that you can discern where I live from this video? I considered starting and ending it before you could tell, but the impact of the beginning and end wouldn't be there. I considered spreading it around, but this concern is stopping me.

Though, not many people watched it, anyway.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

On Melancholy and Ponytails

So it's been the entire summer without a peep from me. Plenty of interesting things have been goin' down, but amidst it all, it's been a busy time. I've collected tons of little Post-It notes about things I'd like to solidify into words, create, do, and remember. I don't exactly know when I'll realize that it's usually not time, but initiative, that prevents me from completing much of it.

But let's move beyond that. This entry is about a show I finished watching this weekend at the suggestion of a friend a week or two ago. I suppose it filled the void/quota of Japanimation that I wasn't meeting after the new FMA ended. The show is The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Now, obviously, this'll probably have spoilers. If you're already familiar or don't care, then you're probably good.

Now what and why am I writing here? It'll mostly be a conglomeration of thoughts about the series. I tend to do this about most shows I finish watching, too. I seem to have some mental need to unwind after becoming mentally and emotionally involved in something. So this post is for me more than anyone else. That doesn't mean I won't make it readable, though. I just get pretty bummed when I think about whatever just ended, and this is often enough the best way to get past that: to reflect, appreciate, conclude.

I think there's two primary elements I need to address about the series. The first involves the interesting story and lives that the characters lead, and the second is about the powerful philosophical concepts it touches on. The second will likely include all the similarities I saw from this series and other shows.

I generally get a little depressed after watching a good show like this because, in getting caught up in it, I get sad that my life isn't as interesting. It's embarrassing for me to admit that I have fleeting wishes to exist in Haruhi's subconsciously-created world, Amestris, Spira, whatever. It's probably not that unusual, but it feels dastardly feminine and against a lot of my cold, hard, rational beliefs. I've always been steadfast against staying ignorant of the matrix, for example. Now what does it say if I get lost in thoughts of turn-based battle systems, having prosthetic limbs, or running around in some "SOS Brigade"? That's a joke, of course, but there are lots of reasons that make each appealing, be it cute girls, adventure, or purpose.

We all want that nice story, that perfect series of events that makes for a great memory. We want a murder mystery on an secluded island in a storm that ends with a twist. We want to walk home in the rain with someone special and have to share an umbrella. What's interesting about this series is that all of these things can and do come to fruition, but for a better reason than just that the writers know it'll be touching, emotional, interesting. It's grounded in the story that these things happen because the "architect" wants them to. Yeah, it gets a little meta.

So everyone wants those perfect moments and events in their lives, but they don't always happen. Plus, it's certainly not with the frequency of a TV show/anime. Plus plus, we don't have a high school girl who can make them happen. Still, some of the point of the show (to me) might have been the encouragement to try. It's good to avoid the boredom. Later, though, this proves to be two-pronged. An appreciation of those around you, the life you lead, is better than a "grand upheaval". I'm having a hard time pinning down just what that could represent outside the series, though.

...We probably all have our own boredom bubbles, I think. Perhaps the cautionary message is just not to withdraw and forget what we have.

So that first and second "elements" idea has really bled together. The big thing I wanted to get across is how this series is quite similar to Evangelion, FLCL, and Inception. Evangelion because of the odd combination of fan-service and crazy philosophical nonsense. FLCL because half the time you don't know what the fuck is going on. The recent movie Inception because of the central character's ability to manipulate the world around her, alongside the uncertainty of the nature of this ability and reality itself.

The way the show is sequenced and presented, the usual cute love story, the utterly hilarious elements and cultural references, and the accuracy of computer usage and video gameplay make this a total and complete winner for me. When I start buying DVDs of my favorite series, this will be one of them.

Heh, now this is sounding like a review. More like unbridled praise. What's cool is that there's another season to watch, too. Hopefully after writing this, I can approach it with less focus on unattainable longing and listless post-depression. Well, that makes it sound really bad.

Thanks for sticking it out while I made sense of this show. Analyzing things like this helps me to both appreciate and properly place them in my mind, as opposed to letting them run amuck and making me confused and distracted. It doesn't mean those sentiments go away, but that they are in check. I'm always happy to watch something that makes me go through this, because it means it truly engaged me. I just have to hope I can keep mounting these mental obstacles.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Contradiction

This semester in a nutshell, in one word, is thus.

It's been a busy one, and with a successful finish, if I do say so myself. Internship hunting hasn't been as easy as I'd have hoped, but maybe this Monday will change things. I'm always a fan of organizing my thoughts through lists, so here are my final thoughts on my classes this semester:

  • ECE 4175: This microcontroller class was very interesting and was probably the class I learned the most "hard" stuff in. I soldered for the first time and got some hands-on experience with making a microcontroller myself and making it work, including ordering and learning to use a new part. The professor is probably the nicest I've ever had, even though it's the only class I got a B in this semester.
  • PHYS 2022: Stars, Galaxies, and the Universe, in that order. That's this class in a nutshell, and it was amazingly enlightening. I don't know if I can adequately put into words how this class changes your perspective on how you see yourself or your place in the universe. I went to observatories, learned constellations, and gained a much stronger and memorable understanding of the goings-on outside of our naked eye and long in the past. I also had my question asked on the radio!
  • PST 3127: The class that started and ended with my favorite movie. It revolved around a topic I've found most interesting and important ever since my renewed atheism, which is that of illusion. Illusion in many forms, from the abstract, like Plato's cave, to concrete, like Manufacturing Consent's propaganda model. From social, like our sometimes arbitrary beliefs and values, to economical, including our country's rampant consumerism.
  • ECE 4001: The most practical of my classes, this one was all focused on life after college. From prob/stat to accounting to margins of error, it was most interesting for its direct opposition to my philosophy class.
  • ECE 3075: Only the last few weeks of this class were actual "random signals", but going back over all the probability and statistics from 3770 last semester really reaffirmed it in my mind. I certainly don't remember all the methods to tackle differential equations. Also, the popcorn project was a fun break from the norm.
  • VIP: This semester we delved into the more concrete applications of annotating football clips. It came to a head when my partner and I kicked serious ass to churn through tons of data and get some satisfying results. With so much stuff going on next year, it's hard to choose between this and other courses, though.
  • Pep Band: Same as usual, but the trips were also enjoyable. I've realized that a few days away from the common locale is almost a necessity to me. I need to go somewhere each year or I start to notice it. So, after Florida, Florida, Hawaii, Spain, Washington, Indianapolis, Spain, New York City, Iowa, Florida, and Florida, North Carolina and Oklahoma were good to visit. I think I needed to make that list, just to put it in perspective.
So what is this contradiction? Well, it primarily revolves around the opposing messages from two pairs of classes. 4001, the guest lectures in 4175, and generally any of the regular ECE classes follow the formula that you expect at Tech. They're molding you into workable units of labor, forming expertise in a particular area. Astronomy and philosophy are expanding your mind to new areas and cautioning you of the perils of becoming a drone or slave of the workforce.

I don't know... sometimes I get caught up mentally on certain things that most people just pass by. For example, during one early lecture in ECE 4001, the professor showed an image that laid out the general work/position progression for the average person's life span. I found this extremely disturbing that people have, planned out already, a general model for how they will live their lives! It just seemed so desolate and utterly devoid of humanity (or full of it?) that it scared me. Furthermore, in a talk from a guest speaker on investments, the simple idea of waiting 40 years for something to mature is something that I can fully understand and grasp the importance of, but it seems to trivialize time in such a way that it becomes the enemy, which is so backwards to me.

The idea of planning your life so far ahead and treating it so much like a commodity reminds me that it's finite. And that scares me. The feeling comes and goes, but it's like flames licking your skin: the "going" is just a lull from the constant mental torment. I really want to get these thoughts out, but it's hard when you don't have much of an answer to them. When you start asking yourself what the point of minimizing pain or suffering in the world is, you're getting into some rough and nihilistic territory that doesn't always have a happy ending. But it's not like you can ignore it.

...Or can you? I'm at least glad I'm starting this public discussion with myself.

I feel it would be a little melodramatic to call this a quarter-life crisis, but that's what it feels like. Just what am I going to do with my life?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

So I'm in an Astronomy class...

I've been in an astronomy class this semester at college and have really enjoyed it. I've learned a ton about stars, galaxies, and the physics behind them. I've visited the observatory (once for points in the class) and looked at the Orion Nebula, Mars, and Saturn. It was awesome. I talked with the professor about Carl Sagan and Cosmos and he seems like a totally awesome guy.

So today we started talking about Cosmology. I knew we would reach this point, where we would discuss the Big Bang and the origins of the universe. Throughout the course he's dictated the age of the universe to be the proper billions of years I've come to expect and readily admitted the limitations of our knowledge in certain aspects. He discussed the progression of our understanding through time and to date has been extremely modest and clear about what we know and don't know.

So here we go. We contract the universe to a single point. We go back billions of years. I knew this day was coming. I'm expecting the rational, modest professor I've heard all year continue this trend.

...And he does. Mostly.

He puts up this comic. It gets a chuckle, and I'm okay with this. It's a quaint admission that the majority of the world thinks this way. He then moves on to describe the Big Bang and its meaning, referencing Plank Time, which is supposedly the farthest backwards in time the current scientific models are accurate (10^-43 seconds after t = 0, by the way).

But then things get a little hairy for me. He discusses how anything before that point is "faith". An irking word choice to me, but true. We don't know; we only know the aftermath. He says something akin to if you want to believe the universe hatched out of an egg or is on a turtle's back, you're welcome to. Again, more humor, and I'm really feeling the Occam's Razor at this point.

He then says he's a devout Christian who believes that this is how the supreme being make it all work. It was short and sweet, but pretty heavy on me. I should say that afterwards he made no more mention of this and discussed the positive evidence for the Big Bang theory.

This all left me very conflicted. On one side, I've lost a lot of respect for this professor who has taught a very enjoyable class. On the other, I know this is too rash of a sentiment for someone who has been so rational this whole time. It's been an ongoing progression since my semi-outspoken atheism that I've respected fewer and fewer people as I find they enjoy sky cake. "How can people compartmentalize their sense and reason so?" I feel a constant need to correct people's terrible misconceptions. I get annoyed at having to maintain societal norms when I want to smack religious people around (mostly verbally).

So now we're getting outside the classroom, here. I know I need to curb my "enthusiasm" ("evangelism", more like it), but the rational me can't stand to see people living in such ignorance. I can't find that line between tolerance and, frankly, bullying. I don't want to be "that atheist guy" that people fear to talk to, and I often fear that's what I've become to some.

Tell me I've judged him too harshly. I want to say that most of the people I know view it as a harmless propagation of love, but isn't that just tolerating the fanatical? I have a hard time enjoying superficial pleasantries when I know my friends have misconceptions on a universal scale. How do I reconcile a religious person and their beliefs?

To date I've been playing what I can only describe as a game at this point. My rule has been to not bring up the topic unless it's brought up before me. ...But I've been feeling like a hyena, waiting to pounce on any utterance of a god or the theological.

I probably have to answer the question myself, but any perspectives would be welcome.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Well this certainly doesn't help.



I know nothing of war, but these guys had a tough decision to make, and they made it. I didn't think that camera looked like an RPG, I thought the group had a relaxed stance, but I wasn't in a warzone flying in an Apache putting my life on the line. So the first salvo was a terrible mistake, and probably not an isolated incident (for war in general, not just Iraq).

The van, however, really crosses the line for me. What possible reason did they have to destroy that? They were likely innocent civilians trying to help someone. The trigger-happy and nonchalant attitude of the soldiers involved I understand to be a part of the military mindset to some extent, but this is where it goes awry. ...To think that people younger than me are deciding whether someone will live or die.

The subsequent cover-up and warping of the event I've come to expect, though it is no less enraging. This, I think, is an equal or greater crime than the event itself.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Hideout Helm Lobby

So this is one of those semi-annoying little activities that I actually completed but never posted to Facebook. It's been sitting on my desktop for ages, so I thought I'd actually put it up. Some are funny, some are just stupid. Sorry I didn't cheat to make it more interesting.

RULES:
1.Put Your itunes/ipod, windows media player, etc. on Shuffle or random
2. For each question, press the next button, and the title of that song is your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Put any comments in [brackets] after the song name
5. You can not use the same song twice

Disclaimer: I redid 2 of them that were an ancient midi file and a jazz ensemble playing a song I didn't recognize.

1. Are you male or female?
"Your Racist Friend" - They Might Be Giants

2. What do people feel when they're around you?
"Jacques Your Body (Make Me Sweat)" - Les Rythmes Digitales [This is from a commercial for the Citroen C4 that featured a dancing transformers-like car. I had to look up the title, and it's much funnier since I did.]

3. Describe your current relationship.
"Run Like Hell" - Pink Floyd

4. Where would you like to be now?
"I'll Stick Around" - Foo Fighters

5. How do you feel about love?
"Final Fantasy 10 Journey's End OC ReMix" - GrayLightning, PixieTricks, Sephfire

6. What’s your life like?
"You" - Pat Metheny Group

7. What would you wish for if you had only one wish?
"All Right Now" - Free

8. Say something wise.
"Da Dip" - Freak Nasty

9. If someone says “Is this okay?” You say,
"Sandstorm" - Darude

10. How would you describe yourself?
Festive Overture Op. 96 - Shostakovich [As performed in my high school symphonic band in 10th grade]

11. What do you look for in a girl/guy?
"Everyday Normal Guy 2" - Jon Lajoie

12. How do you feel today?
"Legs" - ZZ Top

13. What is your life's purpose?
"The Art of War" - Valve Studio Orchestra

14. What is your motto?
"Shiny Magazine" - Jet

15. What do your friends think of you?
"Aurora" - Foo Fighters

16. What do you think of your parents?
"Canteloupe Island" - Herbie Hancock

17. What do you think about very often?
"Kickstart My Heart" - Mötley Crüe [Quite true, it's one of my favorite songs]

18. What is 2 + 2?
"When Christmas Comes to Town" - Matthew Hall/Meagan Moore [From The Polar Express soundtrack]

19. What do you think of your best friend?
"Half-Life Song 20" - Valve

20. What do you think of the person you like?
"No One Knows" - Queens of The Stone Ages

21. What is your life story?
"Dave WTF BBQ" - Pure Pwnage

22. What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Eat It" - "Weird Al" Yankovic

23. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
"Gimme Stitches" - Foo Fighters

24. What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Get Outta MySpace" - Pure Pwnage

25. What will they play at your funeral?
"Show Me Your Genitals" - Jon Lajoie

26. What is your hobby/interest?
"Kongo Jungle" - Hirokazu Ando

27. What is your biggest fear?
"PARANOiA EVOLUTION" - 200

28. What is your biggest secret?
"Zelda 64 A Storm in the Desert OC ReMix" - ?

29. What do you think of your friends?
"Counting the Days" - Goldfinger

30. What will you post this as?
"Hideout Helm Lobby" - DK 64

...So many Foo Fighters, Jon Lajoie, and PP, for some reason. I'm certain that iTunes doesn't fully randomly shuffle songs.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Time Lapse Project


Look what I finally put together. I thought it came out pretty well, barring the few problems I mentioned in the description on YouTube. Now I can finally dump the 25 gigs (9.5 hours) of video I've had sitting on my computer for a month!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Social Experiment

I've come to a realization that much of the criticisms I have with society concern the many social, mental, and sometimes pointless games we play with each other. Here's an example of one of those:

While finishing up a philosophy lecture where we watched a video of Noam Chomsky talking about Manufacturing Consent, I heard the common class-ending sounds of rustling papers and stowing pens and pencils. You know the situation: the low rumbling of "packing up" which grows and grows until the professor seems to finish, whereupon the decibel level doubles.

Well, little old me decided to try a trick on the class. I fiddled with my metal zipper handles, picked up my backpack and put it back down. Immediately after, the low rumblings amplified to louder zips, snaps, and thuds. Coincidentally or not, the professor came down a few seconds later to dismiss the class. This was only about a minute or so ahead of schedule.

Now, the phenomenon isn't anything new, but the instant confirmation made me chuckle inside. We're always waiting for social cues to proceed. We never want to be the first to do something, but being second is just fine. In some sense it's smart, in another, painfully predictable. This is why sometimes I like to shake it up. Ironically, though, "doing what we're all thinking" and thinking it's novel has started to become annoyingly detectable, as well.

I didn't want to get too deep into this (though I don't know how much more I really have to say about it); I really just wanted to share this amusing event. It's certainly from our ancestral and evolutionary history, though.

Monday, March 15, 2010

12-4AM + 8-11PM =

This is a dump of the philosophy essay I just finished and submitted. I feel like I could have edited it forever, because the topic was a bit hard to understand concretely. Still, there are some moments of brilliance in here (if I do say so myself) and some dull recounts of texts (which I do say so myself). If you're up to conquering a wall of text, be my guest, but after going through it so many times, I can understand shying away. I'm a bit tired of it myself!

In the words of Socrates, “the unexamined life is not worth living” (Apology, Part 1). Whether the truth lies to that extreme can certainly be questioned, but the intent and meaning is clear: living a life of delusion can be compared to death itself, and release from it may be worth any cost. In some ways this is precisely correct, such as in Huxley’s Brave New World, where the masses (hardly to be called “people”) are divided into classes and programmed to enjoy their position. This shell of a life is strongly related to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, which is one of the earliest, simplest, and most powerful examples of this illusion in literature. Along similar lines, Kant's interpretation of the enlightenment delves into the ways in which society can be arranged to fulfill it. Finally, Bloom’s discussion of Tocqueville’s experience in the United States brings the discussion to the familiar turf of American life. In find the strongest and more pervasive form of illusion to be religion, though these texts focus more on aspects of consumer society (Huxley), education (Kant and Bloom), and politics (Tocqueville). The intent behind the illusion I find to rarely be the product of an active, evil "agent", but rather as a byproduct and expansion of hedonistic human wants and needs. Finally, I again see enlightenment as worth practically any cost; in my view, the lives in Huxley's dystopia, for example, are hardly meaningful. I, however, find it possible to free a society from these shackles, unlike Huxley or Plato. No one text is superior to another in all cases in describing this deception, so each must be examined for its strengths and weaknesses.

Plato's cave is likely the best example to begin describing the differing views on the collective idea of "enlightenment". He visualizes an underground lair where people inside are exposed to shadows on a wall from a fire behind them. Eventually, the people acclimate themselves to believe these shadows are all that exist in the world. At some point, an individual is set free and leaves, becoming momentarily blinded by the sunlight of the outside. From here, many "enlightened" individuals choose to live in this state, possibly with other escapees. Some, however, return into the cave, seeing it for what it is, and attempt to help others. In attempting to assist, however, an enlightened individual will find it difficult to convince the cave-dwellers of their narrow mind. Instead, he will fail the test of the meaningless science of shadows and possibly be put to death: "Men would say of him that up he went and down he came without his eyes; and that it was better not even to think of ascending; and if any one tried to lose another and lead him up to the light, let them only catch the offender, and they would put him to death" (Allegory of the Cave, 3).

I find Plato's allegory to be quite accurate, if pessimistic. The illusion manifests itself as the fire projecting shadows on the wall, but the intent is unclear. Was there an active agent producing the fire? Who released the prisoner? These are open-ended questions, but as a basic example, they leave room for interpretation. I find that a lack of an evil, subduing agent makes the story more plausible. Additionally, active agents would likely attempt to intercept an enlightened individual's attempt at freeing the prisoners. In Plato's story, however, this does not occur, leading to two options, each of which I find lends itself well to certain forms of illusion. First would be that the cave, fire, and shackles are a somewhat natural occurrence, existing normally alongside the life of a human being. This form is analogous to the limitations of our five senses, for example, possibly excluding us from experiencing an aspect of the world. The second would be that the people themselves forced the cave situation upon them, likely accidentally. I find this fits nicely with the adoption and passing down of religious texts or the consumer society. Plato clearly has a negative view on how an attempt at enlightenment would proceed, which is nowhere. He provides little context in which it is plausible.

Immanuel Kant provides another simple basis to view the enlightenment, with a slightly more positive outlook. Instead of creating a vivid image, however, Kant provides several keywords and phrases to guide his interpretation. He defines enlightenment as "man's release from his self-incurred tutelage" (On History, 3). "Self-incurred" here implies that the masses police themselves to a degree. He views the opposite of enlightenment as focusing on "statutes and formulas", comparable to the science of the shadows from Plato. Differing from him, however, is the inclusion of "guardians", who protect the status quo and instruct the masses of these statutes and formulas. Finally, there exist "scholars", considered the enlightened ones, who both participate in the superficial education in mainstream society but also engage in intellectual debates amongst other scholars, possibly in the public eye.

Kant's views reflect a more practical view of society and knowledge. Illusion takes the form of statutes and formulas taught by the guardians. It represents a blind application of facts for profit or production, rather than any higher understanding. The intent seems to be a combination of power and control, especially when Kant references princes and clergymen. As for the ability for society to be free, he is more optimistic than most. Kant acknowledges that individual freedom from self-incurred tutelage is extremely difficult. In this situation, the first step is by far the hardest. As scholars grow in number and visibility, though, the likelihood of enlightenment vastly increases. Masses can learn to liberate themselves with scholars' help, all the while maintaining positions as guardians. This is what makes Kant's argument the practical one: he realizes the necessity for both elements in society. The world can hardly function without work but is quite bleak without thought. With contemplation of the equations you are using, however, new, positive meaning stems from your labor.

After reviewing two simple examples of illusion vs. enlightenment, Brave New World reigns in a complicated, cohesive, and not altogether impossible view of a future devoid of free thought. Huxley envisions a society in which people are born into classes and programmed to enjoy their lives: "all conditioning aims at that: making people like their inescapable social destiny" (Brave New World, 16). Soma, sex, and expensive sports all contribute to this control, as well, making it a successful subversive rule instead of a totalitarian one. The worship of Ford is equally as telling of this illusion, amplifying the value of efficiency over any kind of emotion or freedom. The climax of the book revolves around a discussion between two enlightened individuals, one of whom supports the world illusion (Mustapha Mond) while the other is against it (John the Savage). Huxley attempts to show that a society of happy slaves in Brave New World is impossible to change at this stage and that the best option is to adopt Mustapha Mond's position to ensure the well-being of the masses.

Mustapha Mond's role in Brave New World is a "light" version of Kant's scholars: he plays the role of a guardian as a World Controller that still engages in intellectual debate (though not publicly). Evidence for the difficulty of escape from this society can be seen when John attempts to restrict the Deltas' soma, saying "I'll make you be free whether you want to or not" (216). The Deltas are so steeped in their delusion that they hardly consider John's statement. And sadly, much like Plato's example, those who attempt to help the masses or cave-dwellers eventually die. In this case, however, it is John's suicide (or self-punishment), rather than a punishment from society directly. In some sense, however, it still is the society that frustrates him to his end, just not forcefully (in parallel with the rest of the novel). If any such attempt of freedom was actually successful, it is quite likely that much of the population would collapse: much like a machine with oil removed, it eventually would stop working completely. I do not think it would be irreversible damage, however. Much of the criticism of an enlightened Brave New World regards the "Cyprus Experiment", where a group of Alphas were delegated to run a society. Lower-level jobs were still required from the entirely homogenous Alphas, meaning that many were left unsatisfied by their position, eventually leading to chaos. I find that starting this experiment with bottled, cloned Alphas is the first fault. An enlightened society would likely understand the value of diversity in human beings over the hollow shells of Alphas, Betas, etc. With this in mind, the society could properly structure itself around the abilities, wants, and needs of its people in a freer, more natural sense.

Bloom's opinions and writings on Tocqueville conclude the four examples. In vividly describing the benefits of the university and higher education as a place for philosophical musings, he sets the stage for some issues that strike quite close to our reality. In his view, even as public opinion sways from one way to another on issues of historical context and scientific merit, the university ignores this, maintaining tradition for its value to critical thinking. Bloom then tells of Tocqueville, who travelled to the United States in the 1830s and provided many insights into the average American's mind. He found that, while each man viewed himself and individual, most had the same frame of mind. He cites the difficulties of having all men created equal, saying "although every man in democracy thinks himself individually the equal of every other man, this makes it difficult to resist the collectivity of equal men" (The Closing of the American Mind, 247). Being an aristocrat himself, Tocqueville believes a higher class is necessary to do the thinking for others, who simply do not have the time. These thoughts could be philosophical, political, religious, or artistic in nature; much of which would not be appreciated by the population in Tocqueville's mind. Without these elite, however, guidance is filled by the malleable public opinion, which he views as dangerous.

Both Bloom and Tocqueville have excellent points with which I partially agree and disagree. It is likely quite true that the superficial items of importance in our country today (sports, cars, clothes, money) represent and illusion hiding real, important concerns. Idle speculation is seen as wasted time that could be better spent consuming or producing. Even during elections when great decisions must be made, complicated issues are simplified to the trivially mundane and the yes/no or Left/Right. I do not, however, view the intent as a unified, conscious effort. Tocqueville states that "the most successful tyranny is not the one that uses force to assure uniformity but the one that removes the awareness of other possibilities" (249). His views closely mirror Huxley's, and my response is to recall my second possibility of Plato's cave intent: the accidental or self-imprisonment. As for an escape from this illusion, the most obvious solution to Tocqueville is to reinstate the aristocracy and remove purely democratic rule. Instead of looking to celebrities, the people would hopefully respect the aristocratic elite's position on issues. Also, hopefully, the elite will actually provide valuable knowledge, morals, and artistic appreciation and talent to make this structure work as intended. In my mind, such a warping of the American mindset would be a task wrought with difficulties, but not nearly as difficult as fixing the Brave New World. The benefits are a stable society focused on supposedly higher goals, but I must wonder if this would simply turn out to be the "Ireland Experiment" in BNW, where those given more leisure time spent it doped on drugs, defeating this entire purpose. On Bloom's side, a return to the traditional university ideals would be a successful (and not altogether difficult) venture, changing young people's mind not only to build things, but to think independently. I would assume, in Bloom's mind, that this slow dissemination of freethinking individuals ("scholars?") would permeate and improve society over time.

Popular media can probably be found to be soliciting a certain agenda, but just what that agenda is and how it came about can be a complicated issue. I find it unlikely that a few masterminds (BNW) control what people see and, therefore, want. More probable, in my opinion, are many companies, groups, and officials working for their own ends, but colluding on methodology for what appears to be a cohesive whole. Certain techniques clearly work for advertising products, such as repetition, and they are adopted, traded, and copied for other purposes. Simplification of messages appeals to voters and can similarly work for commercial or religious matters. Products themselves appeal to inner sensibilities to encourage purchases, again replicated with religious guilt, for example. So in all likelihood, these illusionary structures built themselves up, tied to one another and potentially aware of the ongoing processes, but to say they are all in a secret partnership is a stretch in my mind.

Combining these many methods of describing illusion, intent, and freedom from them, I find Plato and Kant provide a significant basis for more specific and broader examples. Plato's visualization of the situation excellent introduces the concept and wisely removes intent. Kant provides important diction that solidifies the concepts, alongside adding the intent in the form of the "guardians." Huxley's interpretation is a powerful prediction of the future that seems harder to escape than it may be. Bloom and Tocqueville describe more of the present-day concerns, choosing to rely on the university or aristocracy for guidance. I feel we can afford enlightenment in all of these cases, and that the costs are at worst accurate and at best overestimated. As for which account is best, each has both merits worth understanding and flaws worth examining.

As a final note, in synthesizing these various interpretations of freedom from illusion to enlightenment, I find the actual description of "enlightenment" extremely lacking. What is it, really, and what makes it so special? With Huxley in mind, I can see how enlightenment provides more meaning to life than mass production of materials to epitomize overall happiness. Simply maximizing the carrying capacity of humans in order to create the optimal amount of worldly pleasures does not truly constitute humanity or life in any worthwhile sense. The endless pursuit of knowledge and understanding, while being closely tied to improvements to quality of life, is of a higher importance than its byproduct in these philosopher's minds. Today, the Internet makes access to information the easiest it has been in history. But what makes learning "for learning's sake" (specifically not for improving the quality of life) so important? Does it not give the same emotional high and sense of pride that buying a new car would? Who is to say that understanding the culture of a distant land is superior to knowing statistics for the players of your favorite sports team?

There really isn't an easy answer to this question. The best reason I feel enlightenment should be valued goes back to the original line from Socrates: "the unexamined life is not worth living." While I don't take it to that extreme, I recognize that human beings exist apart from other species based on their utilization of tools, knowledge, and technology. The understanding of the world around us, including philosophical study (I consider religious examination to be a red herring), is largely the reason we exist in this capacity today. To halt the progress of discovery is to pause the continuation and development of denizens of the world. Why is the enlightenment important? Because to prohibit enlightenment is to remove humanity from humans, and preventing this is worth virtually any cost.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Playing in a Travelin' Band

I've gotten used to travelling a few times a year. It's not an addiction, per say, because I feel that's an overused word, but I certainly notice when I haven't moved about in awhile. I suppose it began with those group trips to the western US or outside of the country, followed by regular high school football away games, band trips, and the occasional educational and immersive foray into Spain. College continued this with football and basketball trips, alongside New York in 2008 and Orlando recently.

One unusual aspect that I enjoy as much as the locale or event itself is the time spent travelling. A to B, you know? I've probably touched on this before (years ago), but I still don't know if I've quite expressed the feeling. It's the suspension of expectations: the pause of all else in place of being idle for an extended period of time. It's a strangely freeing sensation to me.

What to do with all that time? Much of it is watching movies or eating time with one form of media or another. What I enjoy, however, are those extended conversations with people: those times where you connect with someone else beyond the normal realms of conversation. In my experience, this almost only happens when we're forced empty or recreational time and don't always know what to do with it.

But one further aspect of travel is this heightened sense of possibilities. It's only enhanced by sensationalist movies to and fro that add to the potentially surreal nature of the trip. It sounds silly, but that longing for a perfect love story, amazingly good party, or thrilling adventure becomes palpable when you're so far away from the known. And so is, all-too-often, my experience on holiday.

I remember these situations often in more detail than the roller coaster rides or the tall, old buildings. I remember missing a 3:1 gender ratio in my favor in Europe. I remember my head against the cool glass of a charter bus late at night when a girl takes the time to pity me and have a meaningful conversation. I remember offering my jacket to someone whom I knew was interested in someone else outside a Hard Rock Cafe. I remember discussing at length for hours many topics concerning gods, society, and more in Hawaii. I remember being flirted with on a school bus on the way back from an away high school football game. I remember spending every waking moment with someone in Spain, possibly being closer to someone than I ever have been. I remember (hearing of) mischief at every turn.

Some of these I remember fondly. Others I know would not have amounted to anything permanent today (much less as picturesque as imagined), but it's those experiences I never had that irk me. It's often a waste to consider petty "what if"s, but did I miss something important back there? Something I won't be able to get again?

I'm certainly most reflective away from home. It's far from the humdrum and the norm, liberating both physically and mentally. But it swings both ways.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Busy day, worth remembering

See title.

After going through the usual routine of ECE 4175 and PHYS 2022, I go get lunch in the student center at noon. The lines are the longest I've ever seen them... ever. After waiting an extremely long time for both food and the ability to pay for said food, I take a seat at the long window table. Next to me are two girls who look like they could be a part of this big group that is undoubtedly causing the long lines. I get up the nerve to ask (1), and it's exactly the case. I talk with them a bit about what the group's all about (all-female Connect-with-Tech, essentially) and try my best to not come off as annoying. The girl who talked more said she was looking more for the "college experience" and was more impressed by Clemson. I'm just happy to give them a perspective, though they didn't have much to ask.

After lunch, I check my PO box to kill time. I see the same guy sitting at his desk across the post office as he has since my freshman year (and likely longer). I've said to myself that I really must see what this "student beliefs survey" is all about, since I've been passing it by for years. At best, it's a progressive, open-minded guy like me who rejects a lot of the bullshit around today. At worst, he's a young Earth creationist. Turns out, after taking his survey (very obviously a Christian asking a more secular college base about their beliefs), that he's a very respectful man. Respectful, if not long-winded. I was hoping to have a bit of back and forth with him on some of his common arguments, but he talked the vast majority of the time until I had class to go to. Really, though, I felt like a made a bit of my case and heard him out; it was one of the more pleasant conversations I've had on the subject. Of course, that's probably his goal, anyway, and I'm not as bothered by that. Still, another person I got the nerve to talk to out of the blue (2). Oh, and it was nice to see some friends pass by that I don't normally see during those times.

PST 3127 and ECE 4001 pass by with little interesting beyond me now knowing that the Kuwait War was somewhat justified on a lie. During my last class I goof off on Reddit and CA while "absorbing" the lecture on accounting. Ever since watching FMA: Brotherhood 46 (which I was posting about), I've been thinking a lot on the primary romantic relationship in the series between Ed and Winry. Well, "thinking" is a nice way of saying "longing". I guess this is how all those females feel about Twilight. Should I feel bad about this? Well, it's generally regarded that FMA is a good series, and I'm not gushing over this stuff publicly and annoying people. Psh, I'm avoiding the point: I'm including this because it's been the center of my attention of late. It's a visible relationship growing and changing over time that I find both interesting and engaging.

So after all my classes, I try to get my design notebook for my project class from my professor, but he's not around. When I finally do meet him later, he doesn't have it, anyway. No big loss. So, instead of going back home, I decide to make my microcontroller for ECE 4175. Over about 2 hours I solder all the parts in, asking tons of questions from helpful people (3) who really assisted me in understanding this stuff more. After it's all together, I turn it on... and... the LCD doesn't work. Oh! I remember. "I have to adjust the contrast!" Bingo. Worked on the first try. Awesome. I get it checked off, but utterly fail at cleaning the damn thing. I'll work on that later. I almost forget to go back to the apartment and get ready for pep band practice!

Another win: no playing. The meeting is short and sweet, and I have enough time to visit the observatory for astronomy class. It was quite hard to find, but once I got up there, I knew I would love it. Now would be a good time to mention the weather and how awesome it was today. That reached its peak enjoyment while enjoying the cool air on top of one of the tallest buildings around. Beautiful view, both naked and scoped: I looked at the Orion Nebula, Mars, the Beehive Cluster, and the Orion Nebula again. In some downtime I asked the professor (4) about Carl Sagan (something I'd been meaning to do for a long while). He responded with some praise and criticism, which was different from what I expected, but refreshing. Then, after most people had left, the small group that remained looked at Saturn. It was very, very cool.

After leaving Howey, a reporter (local news) waved me down and wanted to ask me about the concealed carry stuff going around the city and campus. I don't really have a strong opinion on the subject, which I told her, but I felt a bit bad for leaving her with nothing. I tried to direct her to central campus, where there would naturally be more people. So, no, I won't be on TV tonight, but it was a bit of a surprise.

Finally, just a bit ago I sent five emails to five of my professors about the classes I'll be missing for the Men's ACC Tournament. Crazy, eh?

So, to summarize and synthesize this day, I'm glad I took the time to talk to people when I was unsure or perhaps uncomfortable. I'm really proud of my new microcontroller. I really liked seeing Saturn with my own eyes. I'm going to be missing a lot when I leave on Wednesday.

Thanks for toughing that one out (if you did). This entry is a lot like my old high school diatribe, but thankfully less cryptic. I'd like to think that this is all just for myself and permanent posterity, but it's also a substitute for sharing it all directly with someone who'd care.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

A Plea for political understanding

I posted this on Reddit, but I thought it an important insight into my feelings on politics to remember.

I think I know why people (like me) are apathetic or ignorant of current political events. With your help, I'd like to change that.

It's not like I'm proud of not being knowledgeable of the political landscape, but what keeps me so distant from that realm is the sheer enormity of it all. This feeling culminates during election season but is prevalent constantly, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this sentiment.

The problem is the feeling that I can never know enough. The second I feel like I understand an issue and a proper course of action, someone smacks me down with some revelation to make me consider the other side. I always feel like I'm a single fact away from being completely mistaken. There's just something so intimidating about bombastic, dogmatic defenders of a viewpoint that I just can't penetrate.

I mean, I've got opinions on most of the major issues, but when it comes to arguing them, I feel there's an insurmountable amount of knowledge and history to wade through. Documents, bills, laws, transactions between companies and politicians, track records, previous positions... Is it all relevant? All Congressmen/women aren't corrupt, terrible people, surely? What comes to mind are commercials for candidates; what mud being slung is important and true? How do I know?

What's worse is that I'm disinclined to try to learn because I'm accused of listening to the "liberal mass media", but far from turning to Fox News, where else should I go? I understand taking things with a grain of salt, but I'm accused of listening to [direction]-leaning ideologues at every turn.

Should I take politicians at their word? I listen to a speech Obama gives, thinking I'm being up on current events, but someone denounces it all as lies. How can I tell the quacks from the experts? I tried to analyze and compare Obama and Palin's political records during the election and was presented with a seemingly infinite number of previously unknown details of varying significance. At a certain point it really has to come down to facts, but I have so much trouble deciphering them.

I'd really appreciate some help, because I'd like to be a good, informed citizen. Curt replies about one side being stupid won't help, though, so if you could keep the pun threads after the informative posts, that'd be great.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A Sidewalk Conversation

TL;DR - I met a theist on the sidewalk yesterday, and we talked for 1.5 hours about the existence of a god. I refuted pretty much all of his arguments and felt good afterwards.

Yesterday was not the first time I've been stopped by an Asian Christian on campus to have them pitch a Bible study or other spiritual gathering. (They seem to enjoy bugging people with headphones.) Previous times I've declined, divulged my atheism, or even gone so far as to insinuate their acceptance of slavery and sexism and point out the annoying oversight of the term "crusade", as in "Campus Crusade for Christ".

This time, however, I was willing to take the encounter and run with it (actually, stand very still), asking the person to defend his beliefs and answer the questions I had. I can't remember it all beyond specific moments of what I thought was mutual clarity, and it wouldn't be particularly fruitful for me to continually attempt to recreate a play-by-play. What I can do, however, is identify major (and turning) points in the discussion, and how it became a defining event for me.

What a really must do, though, is thank the multiple sources from which I pulled my arguments. First and foremost is The Atheist Experience (whose podcast I was listening to as this person stopped me). I wouldn't have even had that conversation if I hadn't have seen clips of this show and become a regular watcher. I wouldn't be as passionate as I am about the issue of the existence of a god. I now view my atheism as a defining personal trait, while before it was closer to wishy-washy, generally-accepting "agnosticism".

Specific arguments I can recall from that show are numerous. The strongest emotional argument involved co-host Jeff Dee pinning a theist down to admit that he believed Jeff was going to hell, according to the theist's holy book. The purpose of this was to demonstrate that such a punishment was far too severe and unreasonable to easily own up to. My opponent followed suit, and I felt like it was substantially impactful. This and many other arguments made the case that his god was essentially evil an easy one to prove.

The best part was that these arguments and ideas flowed so naturally from hearing discussions that I rarely, if ever, struggled to counter any claim. Historical facts of the Bible? Not so fast, buddy. There's no documented evidence of, for example, walking on water (thanks, Matt Dillahunty). Liar, lunatic, or lord? No, you forgot "mistaken" or any other of the multitude of options for the origins of today's powerful religions (thanks TAE in general). I would have pounced on NOMA if he brought it up, thanks to The God Delusion.

The most powerful argument I used continually was the simple idea that whatever he was saying was immensely similar to what a Muslim would tell me in the same situation. Your personal experience with your god is great, but why don't you believe the billions in the Middle East who've had "experiences"? I borrowed a friend's idea of referencing a ridiculous "holy book" of mine that, while it didn't exist, exemplified the point that you don't have to read all religious texts to disbelieve them (in all feasibility). I happily ended with the Dawkins mantra of "you're an atheist with regards to every other god that has ever existed. I just take one step further."

Afterward I made a quick list of "arguments that work", which I find pretty succinct and effective:
  • Islam does that same, but you reject it.
  • Have your read my 10,000 page "holy book"?
  • Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
  • Scientific evidence pushes gods farther away from probability.
  • Why worship someone who condones eternal torture for finite crimes [Bible specific]?
  • Do you support slavery, sexism, animal sacrifice [Bible specific]?
  • You don't need divine command to have morals.
  • There doesn't have to be a purpose/meaning of life defined by a supernatural being.
  • God could have done better.
I'm surprised he didn't touch on the origin of the universe or many other subjects. He definitely had some standard arguments ready but obviously wasn't expecting to have everything refuted. Instead, too many times he would simply resort to poetic language about my "heart" or tell me that through reading the Bible I will come to "know God". Each time I would resort to "argument that works #1" and he would change the subject. He also grazed upon asking for explanations of things like courage, love, and fear, to which I responded with descriptions of the chemistry in the brain. I relished in the chance to detail the joys of maintaining your own morals, goals, and outlook on life without a Big Brother.

The entire discussion was extremely civil and immense patience was displayed on both sides (if I do say so myself). As I said, this person was an Asian Christian, so his English and pronunciation weren't perfect ("face" = "faith"). Additionally, I sensed that he didn't always properly assess my tone, which was occasionally vindictive or arrogant. This I see as a good thing, seeing as anyone else would have blown me off far too soon. ...Perhaps even the other way around if my opponent was too stubborn to answer my questions and accusations. Overall, I must applaud this man for going to such lengths to remain in the conversation. I am truly grateful.

The discussion lasted for an hour and a half, mostly broken off by his small attempts to leave, two friends passing by between classes, and what I can only assume to be (mutually) other engagements. I think, too, that he was done talking to me. After repeating that I must "know God in my heart" for the fourth or fifth time, I didn't think he had any more arguments.

Never before have I walked away from a discussion with such a feeling of pride, satisfaction, and confidence. Hopefully my friend at least left with a hint of skepticism.