It doesn't mean the issue is resolved. If anything, it means it's postponed or hopefully forgotten. It means the person regrets the sentiment or topic coming up, be it badly timed, premature, or simply uncomfortable.
It's surprising that I first tried to think of examples from film or television where you can usually see the motivation from both sides. I couldn't think of personal examples at first. I feel like that's because I don't often bring up a subject and try to withdraw it so directly. I have regretted talking about things with people, to be sure, but I find myself quietly steering away without confronting and acknowledging what I consider my mistake. This is sparked by what I now realize are misguided attempts to adhere to a flawed philosophy.
I used to think that truth should be the be-all, end-all goal for everything. I said that ignorance was unfulfilled bliss, meaning that operating under a lie might feel comforting, but understanding and resolving that untruth would eventually lead to an even more satisfying existence. An obvious analogy is to religion. And maybe in a broad sense that still is true to me, but I've found so many little holes in this philosophy, including ones that relate to this post's subject.
I mean, I never really acted in accordance with this idea. I wouldn't go out of my way to spoil every film or television show or book. I would tell white lies. I would tell lies to smooth over social interactions. I wouldn't let everyone know of every opinion I held of them. Now some of this was because not everyone thought the way I did. But even when I thought the only consequence was on myself, I wouldn't follow through. I never really approached a full, universal appreciation of any and all criticism from my peers.
Even simple silence stands in the way of truth.
Now perhaps truth is positively correlated with happiness. This leaves room for exceptions both permanent and temporary. Once you know someone better with time, then perhaps you can feel that bringing up a sore spot will be acknowledged and not destroy the relationship. We intuitively know this. You show your best side when meeting someone new; you don't lay your most troubling issues bare in your second conversation. (Wait, shit.) You progress, and if you continue to mutually value and understand each other, then heavier criticisms will be accepted.
Even before now, with regards to my action, there comes a point where no matter what the intention or reasoning behind wishing to withdraw from a subject actually is, if I respect this person, I should be willing to oblige. I've long done this when I'm encroaching on something they don't wish to discuss, but only now do I realize that the same courtesy should be afforded to the person even if they brought something up. It could well be because they believe the magnitude of the subject is enough to jeopardize the relationship. Really, they feel they're preserving it, which I should truly value, instead of objecting to. I don't always know best, even when it concerns me.
I still wonder if a more honest and open world would be better. A society in which instead of saying, "Sorry, I'm busy," one is welcome to say, "I don't enjoy being around you that often." A place where what we consider the deepest cuts ("You're selfish.") are simply useful data points. The major problem is that of eliminating undertones and implications. Somehow we'd have to reach a point where the second statement didn't also mean, "...And don't ask me again". Instead, though, we prefer this foggy haze of where we really stand among each other, operating on ill-defined boundaries to keep us from being hurt. Maybe I don't like this because I have been hurt by it.
I guess I'm just bothered by the idea that knowledge does not always lead to happiness, progress, or improvement. It implies that being ignorant of things may have you leading a better life. Of course, whether or not I'm happy with that conclusion should have no bearing on what my position is. Guess I'm no better than the religious in that respect.
Thanks for reading. It means a lot when a few people do.
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