On New Years

While I make them, I don't fixate on new year's resolutions as much as some other people. It's more because I'm reserved and very slow to adopt new ideas or latch myself to something, be that the need for personal growth or specific goals for the next 365 days. Despite my best efforts, though, I did make positive changes and have new experiences. Not all were perfectly aligned with my resolutions, but you never can quite predict what's in your future.

Here's my list for 2012, with a description of my success or failure after each:

Write one article (or something substantial) a month

I wrote these resolutions when writing articles for the front pages of Couch Athletics was still a semi-active pursuit. I didn't complete this one exactly. In fact, I don't know if I wrote any of the specific pieces I've long had in mind this year. My signature on the CA forums constantly reminded me of how far behind I was. This resolution was not enough motivation to get it done.

However, looking down the list of posts I've made this year on this blog, my total evens out pretty well. They aren't all perfectly structured, readable pieces that everyone can enjoy. In fact, many are not and quite the opposite. But quite a few are carefully constructed arguments about internal conflicts I've been having, assessments of new experiences in my life, and of course some regular old theistic debates.

And I've written long posts and comments and pieces all over the place, from Reddit to YouTube to Facebook to email. I've produced a lot. And so from this, I give it a somewhat successful.

Read the three books I bought in Iowa three years ago

Ugh, I still haven't. I made an effort to keep The Hitchhiker's Guide handy in my car for any time I'm waiting around, but I still haven't dug into it like I know I could, if I just made the time.

On the plus side, I've been reading the magazine Wired almost every morning since June, and it's been very enjoyable. I'm inundated as of late with Economist magazines that I don't have time for. And in the past two months I've been reading more articles and blog posts online, as well. So I'm learning cool things and keeping up-to-date, but none of that really counts for the true, original resolution.

Go out to more local events

In the strictest sense, I did this a few times. I went to see the Nerdist Podcast live in March. I went to DragonCon, which was one of the highlights of the year. And I saw Jonathan Coulton live.

But in the broader scope, I was really setting a goal for myself to get out more. And I did. While still in school, my roommates and I kept up a roughly-weekly trend of going out to eat. After graduation, I maintained attending a weekly trivia event with another group of friends. And when I felt that wasn't enough, I started asking people more often if they'd like to do things. Seeing movies, going out to eat, whatever! And it's been wonderful.

Do something for Spring Break for once

I'm going to go ahead and say I didn't do this one. The idea was to simply go on a vacation. Sometime. I didn't do it during Spring Break, for one because I didn't plan anything, but for another because I was surrounded by other obligations. Some were fun events like the Nerdist show or seeing Dawkins. But my interview traveling and job application process was right in there, too.

I've still only taken 2 vacation hours from work. Hell, I'm here on New Year's Eve. But with my newfound passion for the skeptical/scientific/atheistic/secular movement, I plan to attend more conferences and get out of the routine a bit more. Though it's crazy how long it's been since I've been to the beach. I'm just scared of planning something like that, just like I'm scared of planning something around my birthday.

Find a job

From where do you think I'm writing this? <_< >_>

(I had to look up HTML escape characters to get those faces right.)

This one was pretty obvious to pick, seeing as how I was graduating this year and stressing out about career fair and interviews. It's also quite binary; there's little grey area here. So far I'm happy at GTRI, but one of the fundamental questions that keeps coming up is if my hobbies or interests are to remain on the side or become a larger part of my life.

---

There's a lot more I can say about this eventful year, but I'll keep it focused down to the topic at hand for now. What are my New Year's Resolutions for 2013? Let's see...

Volunteer my time more often

Form more and deeper relationships with people

Produce something creative each month

Break the routine with travel or vacation at least twice

Play a substantial amount of many games in my Steam library and from Humble Bundles

Move into my own living space

I'd love to hear yours! Share them with me if you'd like.

Oh! And I guess I should end with a song. How about one from the Apocalyptic Playlist I put together for 21 December?

On Security

I was on a work trip to California two weeks ago. It was an enjoyable experience full of firsts both exciting and trepidatious!

In preparing for the trip, I attempted to reactivate my Delta Skymiles account. I'll be simplifying some details, but it turns out that I still had an (empty) account from a decade ago. I wanted to keep that one active, but I didn't have access to my email from that long ago (as of pretty recently, actually). The support person was able to add in my trip's miles to the account, but I wasn't able to access it without that email.

The solution was to physically send a letter to the address in the account with a new PIN to re-access it. I thought that was funny, but I was happy at the tight security Delta appeared to have in all this. The support person couldn't give me many details about my account, since I never fully, completely proved I was the owner. All was tied to the reliability of information in the account. So if I were some bad guy, I may have been thwarted. Great!

After I get back from my trip, last week, the letter arrives. And soon after my enthusiasm for Delta's security evaporates. Everything until this point has been the level of security I would come to expect for accounts holding quite a bit of value, until I actually read the PIN Delta chose to reset my account with.

I'm expecting those reading this to guess what it is, and that should be an indication of how bad it was. It is the most-naively-used and most-easily-hijackable four-number combination possible.

Which renders all these other security measures for naught! If the bad guy simply knows that Delta resets PINs to the simplest four digits possible, he need only know the Skymiles account number, which he most likely already did by getting as far as he did in the phone call, and he's set. He's got the account!

Now I don't know for sure if Delta always resets to that number. I have a sample size of one. But the likelihood is one in ten-thousand if it were random. And Delta mailing out reset PINs doesn't seem very common, so it's likely this is an overlooked hole. But I felt it important to share this experience and perhaps inform Delta of what I believe to be a security flaw in their Skymiles account system.

January update:

Delta sent me another piece of mail which contained the password I had set up on the account (to replace the PIN system they are trying to phase out). Talk about complaining of emails having passwords in plain text, this was mine printing in ink and mailed to me.

I didn't even need it, really, but I guess this was a final notice to the owner of the account in case all this time it was being hijacked. But printing out my password? Unnecessary. Risky.

On Dropping Subjects

What does it mean to drop a subject in conversation?

It doesn't mean the issue is resolved. If anything, it means it's postponed or hopefully forgotten. It means the person regrets the sentiment or topic coming up, be it badly timed, premature, or simply uncomfortable.

It's surprising that I first tried to think of examples from film or television where you can usually see the motivation from both sides. I couldn't think of personal examples at first. I feel like that's because I don't often bring up a subject and try to withdraw it so directly. I have regretted talking about things with people, to be sure, but I find myself quietly steering away without confronting and acknowledging what I consider my mistake. This is sparked by what I now realize are misguided attempts to adhere to a flawed philosophy.

I used to think that truth should be the be-all, end-all goal for everything. I said that ignorance was unfulfilled bliss, meaning that operating under a lie might feel comforting, but understanding and resolving that untruth would eventually lead to an even more satisfying existence. An obvious analogy is to religion. And maybe in a broad sense that still is true to me, but I've found so many little holes in this philosophy, including ones that relate to this post's subject.

I mean, I never really acted in accordance with this idea. I wouldn't go out of my way to spoil every film or television show or book. I would tell white lies. I would tell lies to smooth over social interactions. I wouldn't let everyone know of every opinion I held of them. Now some of this was because not everyone thought the way I did. But even when I thought the only consequence was on myself, I wouldn't follow through. I never really approached a full, universal appreciation of any and all criticism from my peers.

Even simple silence stands in the way of truth.

Now perhaps truth is positively correlated with happiness. This leaves room for exceptions both permanent and temporary. Once you know someone better with time, then perhaps you can feel that bringing up a sore spot will be acknowledged and not destroy the relationship. We intuitively know this. You show your best side when meeting someone new; you don't lay your most troubling issues bare in your second conversation. (Wait, shit.) You progress, and if you continue to mutually value and understand each other, then heavier criticisms will be accepted.

Even before now, with regards to my action, there comes a point where no matter what the intention or reasoning behind wishing to withdraw from a subject actually is, if I respect this person, I should be willing to oblige. I've long done this when I'm encroaching on something they don't wish to discuss, but only now do I realize that the same courtesy should be afforded to the person even if they brought something up. It could well be because they believe the magnitude of the subject is enough to jeopardize the relationship. Really, they feel they're preserving it, which I should truly value, instead of objecting to. I don't always know best, even when it concerns me.

I still wonder if a more honest and open world would be better. A society in which instead of saying, "Sorry, I'm busy," one is welcome to say, "I don't enjoy being around you that often." A place where what we consider the deepest cuts ("You're selfish.") are simply useful data points. The major problem is that of eliminating undertones and implications. Somehow we'd have to reach a point where the second statement didn't also mean, "...And don't ask me again". Instead, though, we prefer this foggy haze of where we really stand among each other, operating on ill-defined boundaries to keep us from being hurt. Maybe I don't like this because I have been hurt by it.

I guess I'm just bothered by the idea that knowledge does not always lead to happiness, progress, or improvement. It implies that being ignorant of things may have you leading a better life. Of course, whether or not I'm happy with that conclusion should have no bearing on what my position is. Guess I'm no better than the religious in that respect.

Thanks for reading. It means a lot when a few people do.